How to Facilitate Women’s Circles
— In this Article —
Ever since I began gathering women in sacred circle, I've fielded DMs and even phone calls from sisters about how they can do the same. The irony is that I’ve never considered myself an authority on circling; I only started calling them because (1) my soul nudged me to, and (2) no one in my community—at least to my knowledge—was doing it.
Anyway, I've decided to create a resource that shares what I do and how I do it. My hope is that it will relieve any performance anxiety or trepidation you may hold about calling your own circles.
Some preliminaries on calling a women’s circle
Please note that I use the terms ‘women’s circle’ and ‘sister circle’ interchangeably throughout this post.
If you feel the nudge to gather women in circle, please honor it! I honestly believe from the depths of my heart that women’s circles are one of the factors that will help elevate our collective consciousness, which is sorely needed right now to restore balance to Mama Earth and knock humanity off it’s death spiral.
Calling a circle is so simple that I dare you to pick a date right now where you can block out 2-3 hours of uninterrupted time to host yours, plus a few additional hours for planning purposes over the days or week that precede your circling date.
Now that you've picked a date and have set aside a little time to plan, you'll need to identify your circle's purpose. My advice is to keep it simple, with a singular focus. More on this below.
Once you've identified your purpose it's time to put it out there to the world. Yes, I'm talking social media, unless you have another means of getting in front of your desired attendees. When I first started calling circles, I’d post them to small neighborhood Facebook groups. This is generally easier to do if you are offering your circles for free, given group rules about self-promotion. Depending on your circumstances and whether or not you plan to charge, you may need to get creative to find your people.
[2025 Update: I’ve been off social media since 2024, and I currently rely on my email list (which is mostly comprised of sisters who’ve circled with me in the past), my current sisters in circle, and SEO to promote my circles.]
This, my friend, is quite literally how you call a women’s circle.
The rest of this post focuses on considerations that I believe are important when planning and facilitating women’s circles.
Note that at the end of this post is a link to download a free guide that includes the exact format I follow when facilitating my monthly in-person sacred circles. In fact, the guide is a great complement to this post and will (hopefully!) leave you feeling confident and capable of calling your own sacred circles.
Some key elements of sister circles
I've received training in various types of sister circle facilitation through several entities and organizations because my soul loves trainings(!), but I’d facilitated circles for years before receiving any formal training on the subject. In other words, please don’t let the fact that you may not have some random ‘circle leader certification’ stop you from calling circles.
While these trainings can be very useful—and while live, cohort-based trainings can be wonderful opportunities to foster sisterhood—they aren’t likely to teach you anything that you either don’t already intuitively know (or can’t learn for free via blog posts like this one).
And in case it needs to be said, there is no right way to facilitate a circle. The way I facilitate circles differs from how others facilitate theirs. However, there are common elements woven into every sacred circle and training I've either attended or facilitated. I’ve italicized sacred because if certain elements are missing from a circle, the circle runs a very deep risk of becoming either a social circle or an gathering experience (not that I take issue with either; they’re just different experiences).
Essential elements of (sacred) sister circles:
They are conducted in well-defined containers.
They identify and honor agreements and expectations.
They involve holding space for each participant.
They have a defined purpose, where socializing is saved for before the circle opens or after the circle closes (or is absent altogether).
Let's take a brief moment to examine each.
They are conducted in well-defined containers.
Sister circles are conducted in well-defined containers. In other words, they have boundaries and structure, both of which are communicated to the participants.
A sister circle is time-bound; it has a marked beginning and end. Saying "The circle is now open" invites in the sacred and "The circle is now closed" recognizes completion.
This ties into the next section: agreements and expectations.
They identify and honor agreements and expectations.
Sister circles honor agreements and expectations. These agreements and expectations offer participants a roadmap for how to show up powerfully and conscientiously.
In the circles I facilitate, we all take turns reading our sacred circling agreements, which is a list of statements about how we agree to conduct ourselves. For example, we address things like how to hold space, who gets to speak and when, how we balance safety and discomfort (e.g. navigating triggering moments), etc. After we've collectively read our agreements, I ask if anyone would like to add any…and occasionally someone does. Note that we read our agreements at each and every circle, regardless of who shows up.
Please don't gloss over this part! Without agreements, you'll likely contend with cross-talk, a few personalities who dominate the circle, and a lack of safety felt by some participants. Without agreements, your circle runs the risk of becoming a social gathering.
They involve holding space for each participant.
Sister circles involve holding space for each participant.
When we hold space for others, we show up for them without agenda. We give them the gift of our full presence. We witness them, their souls. We respect them as they are, without trying to 'fix' anything, offering advice, or jumping on the "I can't believe he did that...!" bandwagon. We're simply there.
When we hold space for others, we show them that they matter.
We hold space by allowing a sister uninterrupted time to speak or even just be silent. We don’t interject, comment, or fidget in our seats. If she cries, we don’t try to assuage any discomfort by offering tissues.* And when she’s done sharing, we quietly move on to the next sister.
*While this may seem harsh, it is actually a show of deep respect and let’s her know that we are willing to hold space for her as she is. Note that there ought to be a box of tissues available for her to access on her own, though!
They have a defined purpose, where socializing is saved for before the circle opens or after the circle closes (or is absent altogether).
Sister circles have a defined purpose and aren't generally about conversing or socializing. I know this may sound odd, so please hear me out.
When we call a sister circle, we do so with intention. What is our purpose?
As mentioned in the previous section, a critical element of (sacred) sister circles is the act of holding space. When we hold space, we aren't giving feedback, advice, or even words. And when it's our turn to share, we're sharing about ourselves and our experience. There is no conversing involved.
Similarly, there is no socializing once the circle is opened and until it is closed. In my circles, sisters can socialize before we begin and after we've closed. We also gather socially on occasion and in my home to foster the community we crave.
Yes, some circles do involve conversing, e.g. those that aim to involve the community in addressing an issue. But while I've been a frequent participant in such circles, they aren't the kinds of circles that I'm addressing in this post.
Final Thoughts
Calling and then facilitating women’s circles isn't complicated, but it does require thoughtfulness and intention.
If you want more, I've created a free guide that includes the exact format I follow for my in-person sacred sister circles and is a natural extension of this blog post. Click here to download Your Guide to Facilitating Women’s Circles.
If you'd like to learn about circling and training opportunities, I invite you to subscribe to my newsletter.
That is all.
I’m Kristi Amdahl—a certified Wayfinder Master Coach and Women’s Circle Facilitator.
I’m passionate about YOU living in integrity with who you truly are. I remember feeling restless because my soul was guiding me down one path while my family (and culture) expected me to stay on theirs. In the end, I chose to live in integrity with my soul. Though my decision upset my family, following my soul’s call liberated me and changed the trajectory of my life. So now, I help feminists, rebels, and old souls like you tap into your own inner GPSs and live in integrity with your souls. Click here to learn how Wayfinder Coaching can help you navigate change, ‘find’ your purpose, and create deeper inner alignment.
